when theology and life come into conflict Posted on April 21st
I guess it’s inevitable, your theology (if it’s “growing”) and your life and lifestyle must at some point come into conflict. I guess the toughest thing to do is to act on whatever revelations have been given to you. But this is difficult for me (and I guess most people) for many reasons, it will likely bring conflict with those you have grown close to, it may make life uncomfortable for you, and if it is going to cut off a financial source, then it will hurt.
But, what do you do when you know that it must be done?
What do you do when you’re teaching and you have something to say, but know that the church you’re teaching at wouldn’t approve out it? Do you drop subtle hints about what your idea is, or do you come out and say it?
What do you do when you give several hours out of every week to support a ministry you don’t agree with? A ministry that, it seems, the further you move one direction tries to pull you harder in the opposite.
What do you do when you disagree with the foundation of the very system you find yourself within? Can you be prophetic from within the system? Will the system even listen to you while you are still within it?
What do you do when you desire conversation that goes deeper than pleasantries, movies, and music, but have friends who refuse, or you have friends who are uncomfortable with ideologies outside their own?
Ok, here’s the setup. All of the things I’ve mentioned above I have run up against in the past month. I could name specifics, but I’m afraid if I do, some of those involved would be hurt by it, so I won’t (the last time I mentioned specifics I hurt someone else, who I would never want to hurt). In regards to each of the above questions, here are my likely responses in the future.
I’ll probably find a new venue for teaching, or if I continue to teach within the same venue, I’ll alert them prior to my speaking of anything I might say that they’d not like. (Knowing full well that it would spell the end of my teaching there).
I’m divided on leaving the ministry that I’m working with but don’t agree with. I could talk to the head of that ministry, but I have a feeling that person wouldn’t quite get my perspective, as it leaves the status quo (and I’m finding that most people are quite uncomfortable with diverging from the norm).
The system I find myself within is coming to a close whether the proprietors know it or not. The post modern era can’t (and won’t) stand for a continuation of it, so I guess I have to decide if I should jump ship now, or wait till the ship has sunk.
The hardest question is of course, my friends. I’m faced with having to drive an hour and a half (to freakin’ Tennessee of all places) to actually have a meaningful conversation with anyone but my wife. Again, I love my friends dearly, but I don’t think some of them are at all open to conversation or viewpoints other than their own, which is frustrating.
So there you have it, theology and life coming at each other full head. Whirlwind experience, but who knows, maybe it will end up being a fun one?
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Hey, Matt, this struck a chord with me, mainly in relation to the folks I was visiting with in Alaska last week. I have to blog about that, when I can think of how to put it without offending anyone. Supporting ministries you don’t necessarily believe in is a tough one: I’m taking some refuge in the fact that I know I don’t have all the answers… But I think I’m in an interim place right now. Look out for my blog…
Commented andrew Martin on April 22nd, 2008.When the truth of it all becomes more clear Matt. How tempting it must be to abandon this world and its relentless demands. The stranger thing will be when you think you have made the right choices (which always cost) you are left in the ruins of self glorification. The perception you have of who you are will continue to morph and stop at nothing to survive. You already know what I am talking about but you may not realize that you have already made your choices which will lead you to the same conclusions. So it goes on to the next thing an eternity no one would survive. The seemingly endless pursuit of ME-how do I look?, how much do I weigh?, am I smarter than that guy?, am I strong?, Do I want to listen to music?, Do I need a haircut? When it all becomes clear -as it is now for you Matt then its starts all over again your new enlightenment becomes pride in its most grusome form. Have I prayed enough?, How come know one understands what is so obvious?, God loves me more. clearly, or he would not have given me this knowledge!, I am called out from this world for a special purpose. Yes! this is the next thing Matt. This has led monks into seclusion and many people to withdraw into hermits. Here is the point-The perception we have of ourselves the exsistence known as “I” or “Me” can not exsist in an eternity. I can not continue to seek my self interest-the obvious truth. Imagine going to the fair for the first time and riding the ferris wheel-the music playing-people laughing and talking excitedly-beautiful view from the top the wind rushing-It goes around 6 or 7 times-You get off thinking about the thrill and fun of it-You tell your parents or friends “lets ride it again”! Let me ask you Matt-Do you still enjoy riding the ferris wheel? How many times did you ride it before you said “that ride is boring” everything in life has the same effect! now imagine living in our current perceptions of self for eternity-that my friend is what I refer to as Hell. The choices you have made were to maintain relationships rather than to write off humanity-The self in you is looking for the next morph to become more important than others. As for the current state of the “system”-It is as it has always been-the church is attended and run by self seekers-your ministry is to reach one person-put them on the narrow path-the more wisdom you gain the more people will seem desperate for your advice anyway. Get your thoughts together because the goal is to defeat yourself-yes to lose. Has society taught us this lesson? One last thought YOU cant do it.
Hope this Wrecks your world!
Commented INTHESAMEBOATSINKING on April 22nd, 2008.from
INTHESAMEBOATSINKING
I want to learn to not want-I want to be able to hear the voice of God-I want to be able to do his will without hesitation-I want to have faith that he will rescue the true me-Father do not let us slip into the comfort of this world-Teach us Father to hear your call-Give us the wisdom that causes action-Give us the patience to wait on your timing.
Commented INTHESAMEBOATSINKING on April 23rd, 2008.The truth is I am impatient with others-aggressive-confident-very self sufficient-I believe in myself and have proved that I can succeed at life. Jesus said “Deny your self-take up your cross and follow me”….How? I ask how because I have not been able to do it. I have not been able to deny myself on any level-not spiritually-not intelectually. The more I try the more complicated the task becomes. I want to be a new creature with all my heart even if tainted by my vain efforts. This is what I want to talk about. About our divided souls…..yet I must talk to Jane about the color of her new shoes and whether or not they match her outfit or with absolute seriousness discuss the effect the price of oil is having on our business. I am tired-worn out-yet I must trudge forward in the mindlessness. Please lets get some diologue going about how to move forward in this quandry.
too long to read…
Commented greg Britt on April 23rd, 2008.sorry
Commented INTHESAMEBOATSINKING on April 23rd, 2008.Sorry it took me a few days to post responses.
Andrew- Your “not my people” post resonated with me a bit too, as always looking forward to hearing what you’ve got on the topic.
ITSBS- I think you’ve missed my point entirely. I’m not doing any of this to “become a better person” as it were, I’m going through these things as a result of growth. What I’m essentially saying is my theology doesn’t fit in with some of the actions of my life, and I feel like that’s a sin (literally). It’s not about me being bored with the church I’m at, I’m talking about deep theological issues now. If it were “Oh, I don’t like the music” then fine, your statement is valid, but instead it’s “We completely disagree on the subject of _____.”
As to your second comment, I think you’ve gotten off on a bit of a rabbit trail there…
Commented Matt Scott on April 24th, 2008.sorry matt I wont post again-you have missed my point entirely as well-no worries-I am not the best communicator-Happy journey.
Thanks,
Commented INTHESAMEBOATFLOATING on April 27th, 2008.